It's really been 2 more years!!

These kids are getting WAY to big and I have not much record of the craziness that happens in a normal day. So tonight at 12:09 I will add some stories of just today. Cause waking up in less than seven hours sounds awesome! D and S have a thing where they whisper in my ear when it's been a hard day or they just want to be the favorite again, "You're the best mom EVER!" They love that I smile so big and feel good again. Selah knows she needs to do a lot of this since she has now decided peeing is toilet optional after months of no accidents!!!! Or that she always has another reason why I shouldn't be done and walk out of the room at bedtime. She can literally go to the bathroom 3 times and make something come out each time or sit til it does! Gray hairs here we come. Schooling has been really good this year. I'm sure we could have covered more and I could have been more patient etc, but hey we gave it our best shot and learned a ton about US History (I should say I also learned a ton I had forgotten). Homeschooling is literally like being in a circus. Most of the time, a spelling lesson, reading lesson and counting to 100 is going on all the while the now 3 year old is getting into something or make a creation out of way too much glue! Seems like its either all spinning well or falling to the floor. #blessthisbeautifulmess G has come a long way with her reading and therapy. She asks often if she will always struggle to read and it breaks my heart cause I would do anything to take away the struggle, but I know and see already how God is using it. He has brought us to so many people to encourage along the way. He has taught our family a lot about dyslexia and special needs. Through this I appreciate Grace so much more. THe things she can do well she can really do well. Her brain is so intuitive with life things and situations where you have to think on your toes she has you covered. She also has all her siblings covered even when they don't want to be covered. Several months back, G started her own dog sitting business which has been thriving. She is paying for her horse shows all on her own. She fell in love with horses last summer and has been hooked ever since. A has been hard at work this year with her tumbling and cheer. She is loved by all for being a determined and sweet girl. I am so proud of that hoping that she always uses her athletic talent to bring honor to the Lord. But because things come easy to her, this year has been a struggle to train herself in how to work and work at something that doesn't come easy. She is the pulse of our home. I love that I get to walk so much of life with her instead of wondering and sorting through all the emotions she would havebrought home with her. We have lots of deep conversations about life and what's going on in her world. You always know right where she stand and where you stand as well! I have dove in head first to sharing my love for Young Living oils. I am so thrilled to be helping so many families to a better health. I can't say enough about the journey to believe in myself again and believe I had something to offer. God has shown up in so many ways in the last year in regards to proving Himself worthy of my trust. It's funny how all of a sudden I feel sentimental in life. Looking at things and thinking "wow, things are flying by and will I remember what it was like?" Will I be able to tell them funny stories or what each of them were like? I sure hope so and hopefully this blog helps jog my memory. Excited to see what this summer and year holds. Matt will go to Nicaragua this summer. I so want to with him, but I'm hoping to take G next summer for the first time :).

Post Trip

Had no idea that coming home to "normal" life would be such a drastic and fast thing once morning hit! I literally slept 3.5 hours and Avery woke me up cause she was told I was home! I was so physically tired but so touched to see them that I couldn't be mad. This past week has been interesting. My mother in law was gracious enough to come and help Matt and they both did an amazing job with the kids and the house!!!! Every one was alive and well fed. So coming home I thought that I would change a lot about our day to day and I would have these profound thoughts that I would share and give away all my stuff.....yeah not so much when you wake up to four hungry kids who just can't believe you're home and want to know some details but really just want breakfast and diaper changes and the toy their sibling has and taking one to the bathroom just cause I'm home,etc. So I have had to work really hard to create space to process what I've experienced and luckily God has given me mental space to do so at times this week and through my kids and Matt who experienced the same trip two years ago I feel much better about entering back into the whirlwind of life. I've come to realize that it's not about all the change you make or stories you tell, but how you fell more in love with Jesus and what He's about. He is working amongst great odds in Nicaragua and using Vision Nicaragua and awesome people to do so. I am very thankful to have been a tiny piece of His work. If you want to learn more about what their doing please visit VisionNicaragua.org and find many ways you can very affordably change the lives on men, women and children who need our support. Some takeaways.... If the beautiful girls we worked with for several days can follow after God and keep themselves in school and on the right track and live with not much at all surely I can make wonderful and worth while things with my life as well. I can stop shrinking God to a small box and just allow Him to be as huge and amazing as He is in my life and those I come in contact with....oh yeah and just share about what He's up to like they do not just when I think the person wants to hear it and won't reject me ;) They don't need our money so they can have more stuff. We need to come along side them and see what they really need to live well in their culture and society. Many of them are happy with the way things are and truely love Jesus with their whole heart. As I've been tempted to just purchase things this past week, I've thought "do I really need that" and "I'm sure the Nicaraguans just make do with what they have they don't just buy a new contraption for convenience. And every time this stopped me from my purchase whether to think on it more or just realizing I don't really need it or what I could do to bless them with the money, I've been richly blessed by God's peace and comfort in knowing I'm on the right track. More to come....

Nicaragua

Can't probably do justice to all the things where God has already provided and taught me. Our group found out while we were checking in that we couldn't take the large totes we had packed full of supplies!!! Not good but God had our back and were able to get her suitcases from spouses and get them back to us just in time. We were literally the last ones on the plane but with five minutes to spare😉 nice try satan!!! God has shown up in a very tough situation with a sick man Guadalupa. He became very sick and now into kidney disease but found out that the social security/ health plan Vision Nicaragua was helping him with was one that does t cover dialysis which is needed for him now and he would have to wait til October. He needs blood as well and the hospital doesn't have it so they have to go to Red Cross and find some. Also his social security money that he should get as a small supplement while he is truly sick and can't work as much is now convienently not available either. So with a terrified wife and brother who also worked the cane fields, at the front porch of the mission house trying to figure what to do with Ron we had the chance to pray over them and ask for favor and guidance over them all. What a pleasure to be right here and see and participate in what God is doing here. The people come and live with "nothing much" in our eyes but yet they have so much. They have each other, many have Jesus and their church family and activities. They are so thankful for anything they get. They are clean amongst the dirt floors and little soap or cleaning products. They take each day as it comes And just enjoy what they have. So amazing to get to see the special needs school and play with them and know there is a good place for them to go to school with teachers who truly love them. Or today seeing our first medical clinic where a small child came who needed to go to the hospital cause she had a high fever and vomiting over and over and be cause we were there she got a ride to the hospital that she might not have been able to get other wise. Or this afternoon during the clinic where we get to see over and over how content the kids are to just watch play or hang out with us and absolutely love anything we pull out. Hoping I can take that home with me. That I am happy with what I'm given and not always looking for the next thing to satisfy me.

It only happens once in a while....

Today was a great day on the level of measuring what went well. I spent time with a great friend and we both walked away refreshed and energized to face homeschooling and life again, Grace nailed her schoolwork, Avery did as well and took a nap so Grace and I got alone time during school time, Drew is pretty much potty training himself this week and well Selah is just the sweet easy going girl she has always been. Lord thank you for a a lighter day to spur me on to what is ahead cause we all know this only happens once in awhile :-) PS Lord, thank you for continuing to beg me to start my day with you!

how we're rolling right now

Just cause I'm getting back into it I wanted to post some fun pics of our craziness lately cause of sickness and winter blues. I turn to fun stuff after I freak out :) Well and because she is just soo cute!!! Because when you are just not going to accomplish any more in a day, daddy is upstairs sick in bed, they have snacked way too much already, and there aren't many great lunch options....you let them make pizza!!!

We have really been enjoying Art for Kids Hub videos. I REALLY like how Grace's turned out when she tried Elsa. She started out by saying it was terrible but realized that if she stuck with it would be fine and I'm glad she did.

Cause this is what you do when your dentist sends you home with supplies since your daddy is home with the flu!!!

This lactose intolerant doll of mine got to go on a chocolate factory tour and realized they make dairy free dark chocolate!!!! She was so thrilled cause she knew at the end they were going to be making chocolate and she REALLY wanted to be able to eat it.

Cause this is what you do when you are a two year old boy who is done with what mommy instructed him to do. "Mommy, I painted circles!" (not bad I might say! You can tell he has sat watching SEVERAL finger nail painting sessions!)

You can't always make Avery do things right when you want her to when it comes to school, but many times she will surprise you and work on it quietly and shock you at how well she does it. Disregard Drew's top layer of scribbles. She was working on using all lower case letters (which she says she can't do!)

Oh yeah and I love going two days fever free from all of them and then two of them waking up not feeling well and a high fever from one! Luckily oils and lots of rest kicked it but dang I'm sick of watching them cough!

Winter update

Yep, it's been so long that the browser forgot where this was. Life is full and different everyday. I wanted to record things about the kids more often but it's just not always happening. Grace-I tell here and there right before she goes to sleep that no matter how good or bad of a day she has had I love her no matter what no more or less. So a few times she has tried to rephrase this and say it to me. Tonight she said, " you mean the most to me no matter what and Daddy and you are the most important to me no matter what." After a very long week of Matt having the flu and now Selah having a head cold, that is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you Lord for speaking through her ;) Avery- Matt has been sick from Monday til today Friday. Monday night she realized that when he came home from work and wasn't coming out of Drew's room where he had been quarantined she would miss her tickle time before bed with him. It was a long week for her. She checked on him several times a day making sure he was taking his oils and making sure he didn't need anything else. Then tonight as we are playing on the basement and daddy joins us she looks up at me and says, "does this mean we can tickle with daddy?" She was so excited to go hit him to get it all riled up!!! Drew- has a sweet way if complimenting things lately. He may see a baby and say four or five times "she's cute mommy!" He is talking all the time and very good and changing your directive statement of what he is not to be doing to a statement about what he IS going to do!!! Needless to say he is finding out even cute 2 years get disciplined. He is coming around but it is a shock to mommy and daddy cause he has been so sweet and compliant befor now. Oh well, we've been down this road! Selah- she is simply a delight. Even with a 102.3 temp today and snot running down she is so pleasant and loves to say MOMMA MOMMA all day long! So for that she can have ANYTHING she wants!!!! Fourth times the charm! She has been social from the get go. My only child to go with me to several meetings and girls nights first because it would be easier for daddy but secondly cause surely she would just sleep.....NOT!!!!!!....she was amazing at staying awake the second she realizes something is going on. Now she wasn't a pain cause she is so sweet but geesh were on my time sista! Homeschooling is going well for this stage of the game I'm assured by others ahead of me!!! Grace is working hard in reading and addition and studying Genesis. Avery is now at home for pre-k to help with less caious and isn't always sure she needs to be homeschooled cause the IPad is way more interesting...at times I'm sure it is, so we're working in more craft and video learning to help her transition. Splurged on the Reading Rainbow app and so glad I did. It's a huge hit for break time while I'm working youth the other girl. ABCMouse.com app is another hit! I'm so glad I ve been running into and having time with other homeschooling moms with older kids than mine. They have been incredibly encouraging that whatever I am accomplishing is great and keep remembering they need to know you love them and let them learn certain things as their ready not when you are! I have tons of stories I could tell about how things crash at moments too....like showing our house 13 times in 7 weeks while homeschooling and letting 4 children live in it!! They still love to crowd any toilet or shower I'm in or phone I'm on....unless the ipad is free:) I get told a lot how cute and well behaved they are and they really are. They just like to let loose for me here and there! We've been studying Shepharding a Child's Heart with dear friends and loving it. It was an extremely long few weeks getting starting with setting up new expectations and disciplining appropriately. I feel like we are on our way to having a much better handle on what God expects out of us and how to strive towards turning their hearts to Jesus. Cause really that's what matters. Not what their learning at school or how many verses they memorized but the way they are living for The Lord. ****im using the glorious ipad....which means I can't edit my typing very well for some reason and because I want to say ten million things tonight! I'm typing too fast to catch things SORRY!!!*** The days are long but the years are short is a phrase that is ringing in my head so much lately. It's so true Grace is so tall and so mature. She was just three a day ago!! Selah is 8.5 months which is very close to a year which is close to NOT BEING A BABY ANYMORE!!!!! What that means I won't have any babies to snuggle....oh and trust me she isn't a snuggler when she is sick and it's 2am she wants to sit straight up and chat!

Written a few weeks ago.... Quite the arrival

So last Thursday I went in for my normal check to find out I hadn't really progressed but still very uncomfortable and having random contractions. So dr Weber offered for me to come in Monday and see if I was any more favorable and then he would break my water and see what happened. I was so thrilled that there might finally be an end insight. It was also Drew's bday on Monday so it would be fun for them to share...we'll see what they say about that in a few years. So we went in and I had progressed but not much but my blood pressure was high and so he said let's go ahead!!!!!! So we head over and about 10am they get me all fixed up and break my water. Now the dr and nurses told me things could take quite a while and I should have a baby by dinner time. I realize man that's going to be a long day of wait....what's that a contraction??? Holy moly that ones hurts...it's 10:40... And contractions have begun and they are strong. So by this point they had unhooked me and said I could walk around...no thanks this hurts enough just sitting here. So I start tracking the contractions on my phone...8min, 8min, 7min, 4min...I'm in labor folks and!!! When. The nurse came back in to see how I was and make sure I knew to let her know when I wanted the epidural cause the anesthesia guy was busy in the OR for at least 30more minutes. I assured her iwas ok and I wanted to wait til I was checked again to make sure I had made some progress since at 10 I was only 3cm. Then another huge and strong contractions hit about a minute later and I had changed my mind I needed him to head my way as soon as he could. So she checks me a few minutes later about 11:45 and I'm a 6. At this point she leaves me to laboring to go checking the ORR and get the nurses ready cause she realizes this girls going it too have a baby soon. I'm just sitting there thinking oh my 30min plus numbing time is a LONG ways away at 3min apart. So I start saying my ABC's and anything else I can think if to bear through these intense contractions. So by 12:30 my dr comes I again to be informed that this baby is coming and let me one that the pain relief is still 30min out...aka...I'm not getting any. So the room is prepped and I'm still thinking surely I will get meds right I have no idea iow to do natural labor...oh honey I was already in full blown natural labor and checked a few minutes later and was a 9cm and little cervix left...WHAT???....somebody said dinner and he would be here in 30min with my epidural????? NOPE I'm getting really to push this thing out! I look at my dr eyes and say, "please tell me I can do this cause I really don't know if I can." He and the two nurses quickly (oh yah and Matt an right by my side and in just as much shock as I am in and he also assures me I can do this.) say yes you can you are already doing great breathing and taking each one well and as soon as I can push against the pain it will feel much better. And because the baby had do roped I did have the urge to push so relief was coming as soon as I was 10...and folks I was 10 literally after three contractions of being 9....so he says ok you can push and literally I Take a demo breath as he is talking and push for about 5-6seconds and the head comes out. Take a deep breath and on a few seconds later contraction comes and and out comes her body! They're going slow to pull the baby cause they know it's a surprise and I'm saying ok what is it? And they reveal ITS A GIRL!!! Matt and I both look in shock at this precious baby girl! A:we still can't believe what just happened so fast and B: we totally thought it was going to be a boy. Neither was upset we were just shocked that God had picked another girl for us. She was perfect and cried right away and stopped as soon as she was on my chest. She was very alert and look all around for quite awhile at her new world. After the adrenaline rush left my body and Selah(pronounced "say-luh") was getting cleaned up, I could then start to process and be so grateful for a beautiful baby girl who we chose the name Selah not knowing how key it's meaning would be. See about three weeks before I had prayed with some amazing ladies at church about my anxiety I have about labor and how I really dont well mentally just thinking about going into labor. What a powerful and healing evening for me. God parole in amazing ways and gave me tools to prepare for labor as well as how to live in to the truth He had revealed that night. During labor not once did I have the fear or defeat I would have normally had. The whole time I was able to cling to the bed but also truth and not the lies Satan had even feeding me before!!!! So when went to recovery and it was quiet Matt puts it all together of how amazing God was to ordain the prayer time to prep me for an intense labor where I could only cling to Him and then give the name Selah which means to pause and give praise to The Lord, what an amazing story He had just written right before our eyes. We both agreed having another boy would have been our perfect plan but God keeps us on our toes and knew what He was doing :) So now I sit here 6days in and love this beautiful girl and adding her to our circus, but even more am in awe of God and His mighty hands and heart for us. He knows what we worry about and wants to help and heal and I'm so glad He did. w